Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My name isn't Cancer, it's Ceekay

Almost 2 years ago during my worst days of Chemotherapy, I call my friend Kathy, and cried, asking her to remember me how I used to be. She, trying to comfort me, started naming off things she knew she would remember about me. That conversation inspired me to write a little letter, so to speak, and I have shared it at my doctor's office and with friends.

I know there are so many of us bloggers that are battling this horrible disease. In fact, I started my blog, as a testament of my life and the people and things I enjoy. So I thought I would share my paper. I do this, so that when you see someone, without their hair, swollen from the steroids, moving slow, or wearing a mask....this is not who we are. We have loves, hopes and dreams, just like everyone without this disease. We just had a moment, where our life changed, that made everything much more sweeter and much more precious to us.

I am not Cancer, I am Ceekay. Remember that I love:

Singing in the Choir
Puppy breath
The Fall
Seeing the road ahead on a drive
Pictures in the Clouds
Crispy bacon
Holding a baby
Seeing beautiful homes
Going to tea
Antiques, especially family ones
Going for rides in our Convertible
My lake up north Michigan
Birds singing
Carriage rides
Cooking vicariously
Giving presents
Hearing my grandchildren call me Grandma
Talking to my friends on the phone
Jewelry, Diamonds
Reading magazines
Chocolate, especially cake with buttercream icing
Getting real mail
Being at home with my husband
Touching beautiful things
Shopping at Ross
Hearing “I'm proud to be an American” sung
Going to a great restaurant
Seeing horses grazing
Finding out who’s getting married and who’s pregnant
Winning a game
Smell of lavender
Laughing at my son when he jokes around
Watching the stars at night
Pork steaks on the grill


BrassWillow said...

"Finding out who’s getting married and who’s pregnant"

This made me smile. I miss our time in choir when we would talk about the latest "news."

Sandra said...

Hi Ceekay. Omgosh, i'm bawling here. Between you and Rebecca's (A Gathering of Thoughts) post, i'm a waterfall now. I love you, my friend. Praying for ya.

A Hint of Home said...

These are the things that remind me of you and who you are and so many more that aren't mentioned. Live life to the fullest and enjoy each day God gives. Love ya!

Heather said...

oh Ceekay you are such an inspiration to all of us! i'm so glad we became friends through our blogging. what a wonderful letter you have written.

salmagundi said...

Thanks so much for sharing this! I'll be sure to share it with my daughter - she's 3 years, 2 months out now and back to being the Jenni of old. The hardest part for me was the hair; and I don't know why because for the first three years of her life she was bald as she could be. I say 'the Jenni of old', but we all know that going through the horrible experience is bound to change you. I'm rattling on - just know that I think of you often and pray for your complete recovery. Sally

Needled Mom said...

So true....so true. I hope and pray things are going well for you, Ceekay.

Happy @ Home said...

That is beautiful, Ceekay. I got choked up just reading it.

Shelia said...

Oh, Dear Ceekay! You're making me cry! But I'm so proud of you and your spirit! You are an inspiration to so many and I love you, sweet friend!
Shelia :)

Valerie@travelingthrough2 said...

Very moving thoughts. Wishing you all the very best as you battle this, so hard. You are doing a great job though. Our thoughts and love are with you!

Picket said...

What a beautiful inspiring post dear friend...you are such an anchor for so many...I pray that God touch you and that you completely recover...bless you sweetie...you are certainly a blessing to all of us here in blogland ~♥~

dana said...

Dear CeeKay, Your letter truly is an inspiration. It's so wonderful that you have shared it at your doctor's office, with your friends, and now with your blogging friends.
We all need to keep a long list of what we love and what we're all about going. It makes us appreciate what we have, where we've been, what we truly treasure and love....who we are. I am going to start mine, too. It will help me stay focused and appreciative.

Speaking of being appreciative---your friends are so sweet to help you clean the wonderful collection of antiques that you keep displayed above your cabinets. I have an old cracker tin like yours, too, and my old silver baby cup. I love your grandma's apple cookie jar.
I also enjoyed reading about the bracelet your son started for you...and seeing the charms you added to it already.
Keep your great posts coming, CeeKay. Dana

PS That box lunch you fixed for your friends sounded wonderful. yummmmmmmmm.

Bo said...

Hi Ceekay...This is a beautiful collection of thoughts and very timely too...a friend of ours has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer & has lost his hair, etc.
I would like to share this wonderful post with him & his wife if you don't mind. Have a blessed day, ;-) Bo

Shelia said...

Evening, Ceekay! Oh, thank you for your visit! Well, to tell you the truth about the candleholders - I either got them at Ross or Marshalls! It's been a while back though. Hope you can find some.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Melissa Miller said...

Ah Ceekay what a heartfelt post. Thank you very much for sharing and believe it or not I know "exactly" how you feel.
I just haven't shared everything on my blog yet...Maybe one day.

I pray for you my friend.
Thank you for the sweet words on my tablescape. I always appreciate your visits.
~Melissa :)

Cherry's Jubilee said...

Wow......Ceekay....bless your soul! What a uplifting and important message! I LOVED your list....we share many faves...smiles and hugs to you! cherry

Chiki Cottage said...

You are so beautiful. I love your letter, just as a reminder of who you really are. My grandmother died of cancer. Unfortunatley she didnt win that battle but she left me with such inspiration to live. She missed out on so much because of that but she taught us to always look at the postive side of things. Plus she was soooo beautiful,she has left her face in my mind forever! I wish I could have met her......pictures arent enough.

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Wow! Am I blessed to be having lunch with SUCH an amazing woman.

ellen b. said...

This letter is an inspiration Ceekay. Blessings on you as you live life...

Jadehollow said...

Beautiful.. absolutely Beautiful!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Ceekay, this beautiful post has me in tears! What a strong and brave personality you must have. We don't know each other, but I am still proud to call you a friend. Thank you for your inspiring strength and love of life. laurie

Brenda said...

Beautiful words...

Tee said...

You know, the problem with Mr. Linky is that we miss out on posts like these when we stop in to take a peek at cloches and such. This is my second visit today to your wonderful blog. So, thanks for visiting me - I would have missed out on this if you hadn't. (we have a lot of "loves" in common!)

Have a blessed day!

Ashley ~ said...

I love this post, and I so agree with what you're saying. I cannot tell you how many times I have those words to friends that I met AFTER I already had cancer, "I wish you knew me before I had cancer." Hugs to you*! _Ashley*

Lady Katherine said...

Oh, I trying not to cry, I promised my husband I will do better! I love who you were and still are. I think we forget so much, about the person we were. Cancer changes our and our Families lives. Our whole outlook. I been hunting the Katherine I was before C, then on the hunt for the Katherine I was the first few years of C. Now, you have me crying, for you have made me realize, I am ALL of these Katherine's and and I am different, but Stronger! Oh, Ceekay, you are so strong! You have me beat, you have kept blogging, I been sick with infection and barely blogging. You are an inspiration! Thank you for letting me read WHO YOU ARE! I love who you are! Cheers to CeeKay!For She knows who she is and what she loves! Hugs and Hugs and Hugs!

Kelli said...

What a beautiful and heartwarming post, Ceekay! ((((hugs))))

Kathy said...

I well remember that day, that conversation, and that list!
I love you friend!

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